ORIENTATION – DAILY
The orientation is a brief but effective introduction to the “culture of consent” that underlies most successful poly relationships and helps create the sense of safety and freedom that characterizes all of our events. Required for all campers on the day they arrive; open to all attendees each day.
ORIENTATION & JUMPSTARTING INTIMACY – SARAH TAUB & INDIGO DAWN,FRIDAY EVENING
Who are you? Who am I? Who are we? In this high-energy, interactive workshop, we’ll find out more about the thoughts, feelings, and experiences of everyone present. We’ll explore curiosity and transparency as attitudes and practices that support healthy relationships, whether with lovers, friends, co-workers, or community members. We’ll have some short, fun exercises where people can try out sharing about themselves transparently and asking questions based on curiosity. And we’ll also talk about how curiosity and transparency go along with other attitudes such as compassion, non-attachment, being “at choice”, personal power and responsibility to create a way of relating that many of us think is sustainable, healthy, and reasonably drama-free.
Sarah’s BioIndigo’s Bio
BOUNDARIES FOR A POLY WORLD – SARAH TAUB, SATURDAY MORNING
Mmm, that glorious moment when we are giving exactly what our partner wants to be receiving! Sometimes we find that “sweet spot” spontaneously—but more often, we find it through clear communication and feedback. How many of us say “yes” to things we don’t actually want out of guilt or a fear of losing connection? In many ways, “no” is the most daring and intimate response possible – if I can hear your “no”, I can trust your “yes.” Let’s practice finding that sweet spot of mutual “yes” —through a series of juicy experiential exercises we’ll offer and/or request touch, negotiate the touch we want, and give verbal and nonverbal feedback on the touch we receive. This practice will serve us well in both sensual and non-sensual contexts, helping us find the space of mutually desired connection that is available with each person.
BUDDHISM & POLYAMORY– DAN BELUM, SATURDAY MORNING
The historical Buddha was not polyamorous, but he certainly had a lot of great teaching for it! Join Dan (a novice monk) and dawn (Buddhist flavored) as they share tools found in Buddhism that anyone can apply to healthy loving polyamory relationships. From understanding that clinging isn’t love to changing reactive patterns, they will provide a variety of ideas and actionable views from ways to avoid unnecessary jealousy to how to cultivate mudita (delighting in your partner’s well being). These tools work regardless of religion or spiritual path – and you don’t even have to shave your head!
Although Polyamory is still seen as taboo, misunderstood, or is often unseen, the more acceptable mainstream view of polyamory is that of primary relationships. Society falls yet again into the “acceptable” forms of, in this case, polyamory, in order to ease the rest of the world into new thinking. Although, successful in some senses, it creates a right way and wrong way to do or be poly, thus demonizing or invisible-izing broad ways of being poly. Join in this discussion and workshop on expanding poly views and how one might navigate the independent poly world.
SAFE SEXY SEX – MICHAEL RIOS, SATURDAY EVENING
Up-to-date scientifically and medically sound information on how to manage health issues for anyone who has multiple sexual partners–including how we can have *safe* sex, not just “safer” sex. We cover specific techniques, brands, and concepts that allow responsible sex without damaging pleasure or intimacy.
AUTHENTIC RELATING GAMES – INDIGO DAWN & DAWSON DRIVER, SATURDAY EVENING
Who are you? Who am I? Who are we? In this high-energy, interactive workshop, we’ll find out more about the thoughts, feelings, and experiences of everyone present. We’ll explore curiosity and transparency as attitudes and practices that support healthy relationships, whether with lovers, friends, co-workers, or community members. We’ll have some short, fun exercises where people can try out sharing about themselves transparently and asking questions based on curiosity. Our time together will develop our empathy, deepen our relationships, and help us connect as our most authentic selves.
INTRO TO PLAYSPACE – SARAH TAUB, SATURDAY EVENING
The Playspace is a warm and inviting space to explore Connection & Intimacy by engaging all of the senses. This is a space to lounge together after spending the day learning communication and intimacy tools – the perfect place to practice communication and share affection in a relaxed and sex positive atmosphere. We will give an introduction to the space and we will practice the “Safe Sex Elevator Speech.”
After the Playspace Orientation, those who wish will proceed to the Playspace for its official opening. All are invited to explore the Playspace – the opening activities will be sensual but nonsexual, and the Playspace Team will create a clear transition when the space becomes open for sexual connection.
PLAYSPACEOPENING – SARAH TAUB, SATURDAY LATE NIGHT
The Adult Playspace is a warm and inviting space to explore connection & intimacy by engaging all of the senses. This is a space to lounge together after spending the day learning communication and intimacy tools – the perfect place to practice communication and share affection in a relaxed and sex positive atmosphere. Sarah will give an introduction to the space and we will practice the “Safe Sex Elevator Speech.”
After the PlayspaceOrientation, those who wish will proceed to the Space for its official opening. All are invited to explore the PlaySpace – the opening activities will be sensual but nonsexual, and there will be a clear transition when the space becomes open for sexual connection.
Shifting From NRE to MRE: Using NVC to Bring Your Relationship to the Next Level – MAX RIVERS & ELISE RIVERS, SUNDAY MORNING
Everyone loves NRE. Nobody wants it to end. For some, poly is just a way of creating never-ending NRE by continually finding new partners. But NRE is more than just excitement and newness. What E-NVC** says is that it is often really about everyone getting many of their needs met without having to ask, because at this “Infatuation Stage,” everyone is deeply attuned to each other and differences are minimized. . So why does it end? Because invariably differences do arise and the parties must negotiate to get their needs (heart’s desires) met. At this point, the relationship enters the second stage, the Discovery Stage. This is an essential step in turning the hormonal and temporary excitement of infatuation into a permanent, satisfying relationship rich with Mature Relationship Energy (MRE).
Relationships which have plenty of MRE not only don’t have an expiration date, but the satisfaction for all parties is much greater because the two or three (or more) of you have learned to speak, listen and responded authentically to each other’s heart’s desires. In this workshop we will give our explanation of what makes NRE so satisfying and teach the very learnable skills of how to get from there to MRE.
*NVC and NonViolent Communication are trademarks of CNVC.org and Marshall Rosenberg
**E-NVC is an Embodied form we developed for working with intimate, primary partnerships.
8 POLY TOOLS – DAN BELUM, SUNDAY AFTERNOON
Join Dan and dawn, a polyamorous couple for the past 12+ years, for an advanced class that gives participants tools to break free of the patterns and attitudes that keep us trapped in discomfort, fear, unhappiness and jealousy. No theorizing or quoting from scholarly viewpoints – get into the weeds and put the tools to work!
Discuss the pros and cons of having a formal contract for poly relationships, key ingredients of a contract, when one is needed, adjustments for long distance vs. live in contracts, and how often they should be updated. They will also discuss how your contract can become a stabilizing force when “life happens” and the benefit they can be to people that have been raised to believe that ‘vanilla relationships’ are the only way to go.
Dance/Movement TBA – SUNDAY EVENING
RELATIONSHIP BUILDERS– IGNACIO RIVERA, MONDAY MORNING
Are you referred to as having an alternative relationship? Are you polyamorous, a relationship anarchist, in a Leather family, in a non-sexual life partnership, have unconventional Dominant/submissive dynamic(s), is kink or found/chosen family your primary source of relationship? LGBTQI people have been crafty in the way of demolishing what hasn’t worked for us and reconstructing creative, new, dynamic ways of loving, fucking, finding community, survival, pro-creation, and spiritual intimacy. We are tearing down condemned homes, discovering new foundation, crafting new structures and rebuilding on our terms. We are the builders! How do we maintain our structures–within or out-side state affirmation? How do we make sure we are creating the foundations we need for the house we want to live in? Join us as we intentionally name and lay the groundwork for sustaining what we want to or have built.
CONTACT ART: COLORFUL CHEMISTRY – TIKVA WOLF, MONDAY AFTERNOON
Let’s get naked and explore our conflict and chemistry together both physically and visually using body paint on ourselves or each other (with consent). Visual expression of emotion can be very powerful. Come see how your story transforms when you tell it with colors and bodies instead of words! Come with a partner you want to communicate something specific with, or just explore with the group!
HONORING ‘PUJA’ – SARAH TAUB, MONDAY EVENING
Puja is the act of showing reverence to the divine through ritual devotion. Allow us to invite you into a series of partnered and group interactions that will celebrate the divine in you and in your fellow participants. Beginning with ritually honoring one another, we will open up to emotional and physical intimacy. This puja will focus on connecting and nurturing touch, rather than on raising sexual energy. All participants are always “at choice” to modify the interactions so that they are comfortable with them, or simply to witness.
WHY DID I FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU? – JONICA HUNTER, TUESDAY AFTERNOON
What is it exactly about a particular person that ignites the burning passion of romantic love in us? Let’s explore the psychology of romantic love, create our individualized romantic blueprints together, and discuss the origins of our attachment patterns.
CABARET – TUESDAY EVENING
Come one, come all, and show us more about you! No talent is required – “if you can walk, you can dance; if you can talk, you can sing!
THERAPEUTIC COMEDIC DRAWING – TIKVA WOLF, WEDNESDAY MORNING
Creator of the popular web-comic Kimchi Cuddles, Tikva Wolf has always used comic drawing to process her emotions about relationships. It’s easy to make comics poking fun at a situation in a self-righteous way, and that can provide the short-term satisfaction of BEING RIGHT. But it can be much more helpful to use comics to unravel your rightness, take a step back from the situation, and see the whole picture more objectively. In this hands-on workshop, Tikva will be guiding people through creating their own comics, to get in touch with their feelings about relationship issues past + present, and use them as fuel for more awareness in the future. Get some perspective through this drawing adventure! NO ARTISTIC SKILL REQUIRED!
Closing Circle –Wednesdaymorning
Honoring the experience of the past six days, we will connect, reflect, and bid farewell to this incarnation of our community.
Open Sessions –Wednesday afternoon as desired
Join in as the group uses Open Space Technology to organize concurrent events inspired by your own passions and interests. Open Sessions are an opportunity for campers to convene dialogue groups on topics they’ve been wanting to explore, or create group massages, do a music jam together, and much more. Participants are free to move from session to session, honoring their instincts and natural enthusiasm. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Open_Space_Technology
Morning Circle – daily
Every morning at 9:00 AM we’ll gather for appreciations, announcements, and connection.
CommunitySharing Circle– daily
We’ll be using the ZEGG Forum daily to bring out what’s under the surface in our community. Forum (http://www.zegg-forum.org/index_en.phtml) was created at ZEGG, an intentional community in Germany, and its sister communities as a way of promoting transparency and mutual understanding among community members. ZEGG members found that decision-making meetings often got derailed because of emotional conflicts and undercurrents that were not known to or understood by all. In Forum, each individual’s experience could be seen and understood, leading to greater empathy and creativity in the community. Now, many residential and non-residential intentional communities have adopted Forum as a way to maintain ongoing connection, intimacy and understanding.
The goal of Forum is to reveal what is alive but not known to all. The community sits in a circle, forming a stage for one person at a time to stand and show what is true for them. Facilitators may assist the person (or “presenter”) to reveal themselves more deeply. Afterward, community members may offer reflections, or “mirrors,” on what they saw.
One of the gifts of ZEGG Forum is that it allows us a space to appreciate every perspective without taking it on as “truth.” Every voice has its own poignancy, its own wisdom, its own truth, that does not negate the wisdom and truth of other perspectives. Allowing all voices to surface and be known can lead to a profound and unexpected integration within a community. We tend to think that events leading to painful experiences and conflicts are bad, because they feel bad in the moment. However, when we open ourselves and compassionately witness what is happening for everyone, these experiences can be gateways to greater closeness, understanding, and love. When conflict emerges, whether or not we are in a formal Forum space, we can choose to listen in this way. This deep listening sustains and nurtures community life and relationships.
ADULT PLAYSPACE – SATURDAY, SUNDAY, MONDAY AND TUESDAY EVENING
The Playspace is a place for structured and unstructured education and exploration of sensual and sexual issues. This space is a resource for those who wish to make use of it; none of the core workshops will take place in the Playspace. There will be an orientation for people interested in using the Playspace on Saturday evening.
Polyamory Skill Share – Daily
New to polyamory? Got questions? “Old hand” at polyamory? Got answers? Join us for this daily skillshare on the promises and perils of diving into ethical, loving non-monogamy! Poly Skill Share will explore many techniques for enhancing our abilities to have rich, satisfying, and durable relationships.
Orientation – Daily
The orientation is a brief but effective introduction to the “culture of consent” that underlies most successful poly relationships, and helps create the sense of safety and freedom that characterizes all of our events. Required for all campers on the day they arrive; open to all attendees each day.